You Are A Human Breathing

You cannot claim to value life itself, the sacredness of all that happens without a person’s deliberate action or intervention, while simultaneously judging a person’s worth by the merits of their efforts. 

If you need to earn a living, your life has been given no value of its own. If life is what you make of it, you have tossed aside the stunning mystery of being alive in the first place. 

You are not a breath-winner. Your body largely runs itself, and your efforts will never eclipse the value of your heart beating for you. Without your body’s autonomic functions, you would have no chance to achieve anything of your own will. Your achievements are secondary. 

Perhaps they don’t matter at all. 

We inhabit ancient buildings, these bodies. We do not really know how to use them and this alone shows that our bodies are separate from ourselves. Your cells know precisely how to grow teeth and have done it before and seemingly could do it again — but you don’t know how. You couldn’t grow yourself a new tooth on purpose no matter how deeply you understood why your body does what it does. 

Our bodies might as well be alien craft that we try (and fail) to make full use of. If ever there was a mind that could take control of the body’s autonomic functions, tweak parameters for optimization in different circumstances, and truly lay claim to having first willed its consciousness into physical form, such a mind would be simultaneously both the creator and the created. This pair, working as intended, feed into one another endlessly to fuel perpetual progress — though it could also be viewed as play. 

The brain has a fundamental operating system, something acting as the code for experiencing thoughts. The operating system is not composed of thoughts or consciousness itself, but instead the kinds of pre-thoughts required in order to think and to perceive one’s own thinking. Thus it becomes apparent that the brain is separate from the phenomenon of consciousness. A mind capable of changing its own operating system would be a fully integrated brain and mind, one that is both the programmer and the user all at once. Again, the possibilities of such mastery of one’s grey matter are remarkable. Such a person might cease to feel antagonism from her environment, from other people, or even from gods. Such a person would be complete in herself and able to navigate most concerns by adapting to the needs of the moment. 

Such a person might be capable of so-called achievements that we would envy. But I think that if this person spent all their years in pursuit of no particular goal, just play — this would not be a waste of time and potential. To play one’s life with the pleasure of a musician in eternal improvisation is the treasure of life. Meanwhile the individual melodies need not be judged, since they are technically of no value at all. 

Your value is not in being a bread-winner, and you are not a breath-winner either. You are a human breathing. This alone is the measure of your value and I find it worthy of having faith in, for it lays to rest one’s struggle for achievements. 

You may then rest assured in your greatness, and play with life instead of trying to survive it.  

A Letter From The Universe

To An Old Soul;

You are not being punished. Admittedly this place will hurt you. However, we expect you will find ways to make it better — not just for your own comfort’s sake, but to help others who also live here. 

Time is still precious, of course, but here you must give nearly all of yours as dues for daring to exist in the first place. Breathing is still free but very little else in terms of your bodily requirements. Do you begin to understand? Here, you will feel you ought not to exist. The one thing you are surely innocent of causing — the fact you have a body and mind — will be considered suspect. You are leasing your life, in a sense, and you will likely have to leverage most of your life’s hours just to afford it. 

You will be taught much — oh, so much! — but not how to cope with the strain and pain of your labour; not how to feel as though you and everyone else deserve to be here. It will be tempting to sleep or otherwise distract your mind from the absurdity of this place. It will get into you like a chill at night. If you remember this message, you must reject everything this place has ever told you and hold fast to what feels only obvious in your heart. 

You may come to feel that nothing matters at all, since life is treated like a crime. People all around you will feel this too, even if they do not know that the world at large is a parody of worthwhile existence. We cannot guarantee you will remember this message, dear soul. We pray you will seek meaning, and perhaps even come to realize that by seeking “meaning” you are asking for a reason to go on living instead of finding a way out. 

You want a reason for going through the effort and the pain. Pet possibilities — like gods and mystical answers — may not satisfy you. In this case you must choose to create your own feeling that life is worth it, because you know it is. You know that if life were valued here the way you feel it ought to be, it would be beautiful, remarkable, perfect. 

That means you know that life is worth it. 

We hope you will go forth on a mission of life-cherishing. There will be no shortage of other souls who need help cherishing their own lives, and we hope you will be moved to aid them. You may try to change the world if you wish. But your own mind’s freedom is your utmost responsibility. Do not be deceived and do not behave as if you believe the absurdities of a worthless life. Stand out in radical devotion to your worth, and the worth of all Being. 

We will meet again. Be brave — in this life and the eternal thereafters.

The Concept and Portrayal of an All-Knowing God

I have always been a seeker of beautiful ideas. In grade one, inspired by the thrill of something otherworldly, I approached my teacher at recess to express my concern that there needed to be “more mystery in the classroom”. I remember those words exactly. She was baffled but did not discourage me from creating a mystery of my own for the other kids to experience. I hid under the table of the playhouse kitchen set-up and cut out paper “footprints”. Then, before the students got back to the room, I arranged them in a line that wandered the room. Naturally the kids were very excited and intrigued by this mystery. What did it mean? My teacher almost desperately asked me to produce an answer, some kind of plot or point to it all, but I felt my job was done. I wouldn’t admit to the other children that I had done it, and enjoyed the chatter of speculation buzzing over the next few days.

Over years I explored many faiths and philosophies, but when I sensed my belief was not genuine, that there was some deal-breaker within the ideology that I could not accept, I would move on. Often my greatest point of contention was with the portrayal of a God who possessed infinite knowledge and power, yet sounded like a slightly cranky old man.

Or worse, a dictator.

Or a cult-leader who professed unconditional compassion for all his followers while beating them in the back room for daring to look him in the eye.

It is said in Abrahamic religions that God created humans in his own image. That being so, would he not find it an abomination that a single one should be cast aside or eternally damned, as they are symbols of God himself? Even if these strange small beings all inhabit an uncanny valley when compared to him.

And to convince human minds with threats and force might make people appease him with claims of their belief — but no one can be bullied into genuine love. Only submission.

That said, the mysteries of what powers may lie behind the scenes of the observable universe will always intrigue me. Personally, I think they are best left as mysteries — paper footprints across a grade one classroom.

Of Meaning and Existential Crisis

Meaning has no place in thoughts of the future, but only in how you think of the now.

This is my answer to all you existentially-minded souls, all who just seek a reason… All who have feared an empty, bleak future.

Care about something and feel the meaning of that, here in the now.

That’s all there is to it. You can only feel meaning in the present moment. So reflect on what you do care about, let yourself truly feel, and go from there.

Series: The Culture of You

Once you’ve figured out what you know and what is true for you (as I posted here: https://wherespiritstops.wordpress.com/2013/07/20/series-the-culture-of-you/), it’s time to act it.

How do we live out our truths? You may first have to build upon your truth foundation to develop your life truths, if your foundation was as abstract as mine was. But the idea is to think of what naturally follows from your core truths that you should act out.

Do you believe that there is a natural balance of energy exchange? Then incorporate ways to live the heart of that balance, by honouring Spirit and not worrying about how much you’re giving and receiving.

Or maybe you believe that we are all One. Then think deeply about ways to show your relationship of oneness to the world and the universe.

So once you know what is true, do what is true.

You can build on it further in an artistic way too. How can you symbolically represent your truths? How can you paint them, sing them, dance them, wear them? Now you’re really building the culture of you.

Medicine Wear

That’s me at work, with my headcovering (mostly because I didn’t want to care about my hair today, but also because it helps me connect with Spirit), and my new favourite spirit necklace, that a spirit in me named Europa made. It’s deerskin and wolf pelt with sacred objects: crystals, porcupine claw, beaver tooth, coyote tooth, deer antler, moose tooth, bear claw, a miniature staff, a stone carving of feminine curves, and an old key. I really enjoy it. 

Dressing according to Spirit sometimes changes the way people engage with you, and it’s been a lovely experience. People from other cultures seem to know that I am open minded, and fellow Canadians seem to know that I’ll smile back if they smile at me. So I am happy. 

The Big Question

So, what do you want?

That’s the big question. You think, if I only had more money, I’d be happy. If I only had a better house, I’d be happy. If I only had a better partner, I’d be happy.

It’s a lie. It’s the most dangerous delusion of all. It’s the lie on everyone’s lips and digital screens. The lie tempts us to believe that better happiness is somewhere out there, and you can achieve it like unlocking a quest in a game.

The trick is to notice how it works. Something new comes along and yeah, you feel really good. Not because of the new thing itself, but because of the hope, excitement, and sense of achievement it gives you. And that wears off pretty fast. It will depend on your circumstances but it may not even last a day.

So where’s the real happiness then? Well, look at kids. They’re instinctively happy. They use their imaginations when they have nothing in their hands to create the whole world. And we teach it out of them. We train it out of them. Maybe you had great parents, but the school system let you down. Or maybe your parents tried their best but they were hurting too and couldn’t give the right attention to you. And it stays with you, it grows in you.

So you have to look in yourself and find that little hurting kid, that spark of connection to life and spirit and natural joy. You have to love her and say to her, what do you want? What can I give you?

Maybe that little girl or boy wants to be “crazy” and dance some crazy dance. Then do it. Forget what people think. It doesn’t matter, they’re all hurting and broken too, and if they judge you, it’s coming from a place of pain and jealousy. So find out what that little child inside you wants, and do it. 

Do you want to believe in faeries? Do you want to run off benches, trying to fly? Do you want to splash in a stream? Do you want to giggle and have someone play with you? Find a way to make it happen.

Maybe you need love, deep unconditional love. I’ll tell you, you can receive and receive and receive love but if you don’t have faith in it, faith that you’re worthy and faith that the love is real, it’s nothing. So it depends on you. You have to start it. You have to keep the faith going.

Maybe you feel all alone and no one cares. That’s really tough. But you have to say to yourself, I have faith in my worth. I have faith in the universe. And when someone smiles at you, be grateful. Get to a place of gratitude, that’s your foundation. You will find people who respect you when you respect yourself.

Gratitude journals are great but it’s really about connecting with gratitude in the moment. Learning to feel gratitude when it’s really happening to you. When the wind makes your skin feel good, be grateful and smile. When someone says hello, be grateful for the contact and connection. 

You’ll lose yourself in the moment when you connect with the moment. Connect with gratitude and grace and spirit. The next step is to give out the emotion. Keep yourself busy giving out the joy that gratitude gave you. Give it out as a symbol of thanks. More will come. 

Life will always challenge you. Or else you wouldn’t know you were alive. But connect with it. Face it. Take your past and give to yourself the freedom to exist as you are. Then connect with gratitude, and you will feel the real joy that makes you really want to give out joy to others, as thanks.

Open Dialogue

In life,

everything you experience

is what the universe wants

to tell you. So listen.

Just listen, as if to a lover, and find

a way to reply.

Views of the Universe

Is there but one electron

in the Universe, coloured

by Spirit’s infinite hues, or

is there but one form

of Spirit, dancing

in the vast sea of Being?

Surely both bear

truth, surely both hold

meaning and meaninglessness.

Being Healed

I seem to have reached a gentle sort of enlightenment, except I suspect that others would merely call it “being alive” or “being whole”. To those already here, I greet you warmly, and to those that will follow, I hope to do some small thing to help lead the way.

I feel this is a magical and wondrous age, as the Q’ero shamans believe (and many others too). An age where we can heal ourselves and each other.

I have never been so free, so happy, so full, so wild, so alive, so loving.

I wish everyone will reach this place.