The Strangest Birthday

I’m not sure what’s been going on with me this past week. First my vision went, and it still hasn’t gotten better. Now I have very intense abdomen pain that we’ve narrowed down to be either my pancreas, gallbladder, or an ulcer. The next step is an MRI and a consultation with a surgeon. I’ve been in the ER for the past two days and today’s my birthday. I can deal with not feeling well, but all I want is a peaceful day without the kind of pain attacks that bring me to tears.

I’ve never been to the hospital in my life before this and am wondering what lesson spirit is trying to teach me…

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Today’s Progress

Today Willow took me to a surplus store where I got this awesome powerful little magnifying glass on a necklace chain, so I can read labels and stuff when I’m in a store or on the go. It’s actually pretty and borderline steampunk! Then we picked up a freestanding magnifier with a flexible neck that Willow attached to a board so I can see what I’m crafting a little better. I feel really awesome right now; even if this doesn’t get better, even if I’m technically legally blind, I’m not letting it get me down.

And I made little mushroom earrings with quartz crystal stems today!

Visually Impaired Arts!

So today I decided to test out my crafting abilities although my vision has not improved. I made these little clay mushrooms with crystal stems! With the help of a magnifying glass, it wasn’t too bad, though I’m not sure how much fine detail I can do yet.

Willow’s been amazing, spending her time helping me make my computer and even our World of Warcraft game as accessible for me as possible ❤  With her at my side I can’t help but feel positive, no matter the outcome.

mdemde

Learning to See in the Dark

I have suffered an injury to both my eyes, to the extent that I cannot read without a magnifying glass and I had to use the accessibility options on my computer to magnify everything by 250% just to get by. I don’t have a drivers’ license but I don’t think I’d be allowed to drive even if I did. I can’t read signs, I can’t see the traffic lights, and sometimes I can’t even see cars at a certain distance. Not like they’re blurry but like they aren’t even there to my eyes.

My prognosis is unknown. It could take a couple weeks or a year or never get better. I saw the optometrist today and I’ll see him again in two months. For now I’m adjusting and trying not to be upset, but I don’t know yet how this will affect my art. I only recently started to consider myself an artist, and now I have to find new ways to see.

Shamans have been described as those who can “see in the dark.” This is what I need to learn to do, now more than ever. I used to have an uncanny ability to spot animals at night. Sometimes it was more like a psychic seeing as I wasn’t really seeing the animal in the first place. I just knew it was there.

Now more than ever I need to sharpen my other physical senses, and my spiritual senses, to navigate this world.

Spirit on Our Algonquin Journey

We made it home safely from another trip to Algonquin Park. This time was very different and full of surprises. Unbeknownst to us, the park was undergoing serious construction on the only road that crosses it (Highway 60). Naturally the park doesn’t warn its visitors of this, but it was a real pain due to single-lane delays. Since our favourite activity is driving up and down the highway looking for animals to photograph, we decided that spirit and the universe were trying to tell us to try new things. Luckily the wonderful ladies at our little motel told us of a very secluded road in Whitney, where we were staying. It was a real treat – technically part of it is in Algonquin, and during the roughly 6 hours we spent there throughout the trip, we only ever saw one person near the beginning of the road. So it was like a private Algonquin just for us.

Not only that, but the road was absolutely full of bear poop, wolf tracks, moose tracks, turtles, frogs, and other wildlife. It also had some of the best views we’ve ever seen. When we went up at night we saw two moose and I nearly cried, as it all seemed so spiritually right. The next day we went back, saw the moose again, and we were able to get a photography session in too.

hydroline moosehydroline moose2snowshoe harehaycreek hawk

During this trip I gained new spirit guides and learned to have such faith in things turning out for the best. It was absolutely lovely.

Science and Shamanism

“Everything you can imagine is real.” – Pablo Picasso

Quantum physics, and modern theoretical physics, comes to some pretty odd conclusions. You hear of scientists happily admitting that an infinite universe, or infinite parallel universe, necessarily means that everything possible must exist. Yet when we look at these conclusions from a spiritual point of view, they can be used to understand reality in a very complete way. I’ve often joked that there should be a metaphysics expert at CERN (nominating myself, of course), but the truth is that science and shamanism can blend seamlessly together.

It is known that light exists both as a particle and as a wave. The waveform includes all possible paths the particle may take, and the wave is described as being “everywhere at once”. When forced into physical reality by being tested and observed, the waveform “collapses” and its reality manifests (in this plane of existence, anyway) as one of the potential particles, taking a single path. It is also said that this is not unique to light – that everything exists as both particle and wave. Even you.

I believe that the waveform, which is potential, is what we have been calling “spirit” all this time. It exists as a real thing but we can only ever observe the singular manifestations of physical particles in this plane of existence. You have a spirit, which is all your possibilities – and to me that equates to your higher self. Yet you can only physically observe the one manifestation of it out of an infinite set: your physical being as you know it.

Now, if potential is spirit, existing infinitely everywhere at once, how do we get to know it? I have another belief that answers this in a surprising way.

Our imagination is a direct sense of potential. How else can we know what is possible in an infinite universe? Well, everything we imagine is possible – somehow, somewhere. Thus, our imagination is a real sense, just like vision and hearing, but of spiritual things.

People don’t like to think that spirituality is made up or “all in our head”, and that’s not what I’m saying at all. What I’m saying is that through disciplined use of our imagination, we can see everything that is possible, which is the spirit realm.

Shamanism provides one such disciplined use of the imagination. You will hear great shamanic teachers saying things like, “Of course we’re imagining everything. That’s how we create reality.” The oft-used phrase “dreaming the world into being” speaks to this. What shamans do is to go into altered states of consciousness where they can get answers and see potential while feeling like they’re not making it up – the messages seem to come from outside our own heads.

As Pablo Picasso says, “Everything you can imagine is real.”  Shamans use the shamanic journey to see reality in a different way – to see the full power of potential and possibility, which is spirit. And every time a spirit comes to speak to us, it is scientifically true that there must be a real being (somehow, somewhere) that exists who would say this to us. So it’s real and imaginary all at once, and the real trick is just learning to navigate this infinite universe.

Sale on Readings!

Etsy just rolled out their sales and coupons option, so I’m running a week-long sale on readings and healings. The price is 50% off, now only $20 (Canadian dollars).

I’m going on a spiritual vacation tomorrow and would love to do some work for others while I’m there. Please note that my internet will be limited, so I will only be able to send the full readings when I get back on the 19th.

Consider visiting my Etsy here!