Everything happens and Nothing is.

“Everything as it moves now and then, here and there, makes stops. A bird as it flies stops in one place to make its nest and in another place to rest from its flight. A man when he goes forth stops when he wills. So the god has stopped. The sun, which is so bright and beautiful is one place where he has stopped. The moon, the stars, the wind he has been with. The trees, the animals, are all where he has stopped, and the Indian thinks of these places and sends his prayers to reach where the god has stopped and to win health and blessing.” -a Dakota chief, quoted in John Grim’s The Shaman


My blog may be a triggering place for some visitors. I write gritty, raw things about my history of abuse. Writing poetry based on my abuse is not about presenting pretty words and metaphorical insights. It’s about getting this feeling that’s in my chest out into the air, and maybe — just maybe — into someone else’s mind. Not to shock anyone and not to spread negativity or distress, mind you. All I want is to bring to being my truth, which had been so violently silenced all my life, and give it a little space to unravel, the way an apple seed opens to the earth and is nurtured into something much stronger.

40 thoughts on “About

    1. What a beautiful comment, thank you so much for your kind words. I adore your photographs on your blog, the colours and composition are utterly magical.

  1. Through some internet surfing today, I fell upon your site and your warm spirit shines through brightly. Thank you for sharing your gifts and just wanted to say that your main image is so powerful and LOVELY. ~ warm blessings…Lisa 🙂

  2. I have nominated you for the The Brave Heart Award. If you would like to accept it, please go to http://turkeyboneheaven.com/2014/03/22/brave-heart-award-announcement/ for details about the award.

    Stand Strong You Are Not Alone

    I call you a survivor, because that is what you are.
    There are days when you don’t feel like a survivor and there are days when the memories trigger your past and it feels like you are loosing the fight – but you are not. Take the past and heal with it. You are strong.

    I want you to know that the abuse was not your fault. It does not matter what age it happened. You did not deserve it, you did not cause it, and you did not bring it on yourself. You own no shame, guilt, or remorse.

    In your life, you have faced many demons but look around you and you will see there is hope, and there is beauty. You are beautiful, You are loved, there is hope.

    You deserve to be loved and treated with respect. You deserve peace and joy in your life. Don’t settle for anything less than that. God has plans for you. Your future does not have to be dictated by your past.

    Each step you take you are not alone.
    Stand Strong.

    1. Thank you Kelly for this, I was touched and it brightened my morning. Thank you for your words of wisdom and strength and encouragement. Bless you!

    1. Thank you so much! I just started following your blog — you strike me as an absolutely wonderful person, someone I’d like to get to know. Blessings to you!

  3. 8

    ….Beautiful Heart warming place to be…..

    the fire flickers….

    the water flows….

    the wind blows….

    the Earth cracks…

    ….and the ant silently, with effort or no effort goes about its daily errands,,,without complainining….

  4. Hello! I’m Bekka, myself and my mindmates are creating a blog specifically for information and hope and help and stuff around DID, based around the idea of empowerment rather than the common powerlessness that pervades the psychiatric model of DID. Part of the plan is to collect hope and stories of other people living with DID and/or multiplicity, both blog links and articles of hope.

    The site isn’t yet ready to “go live”, I haven’t advertised it or anything yet, because there’s a lot of work to get done before it’s ready, but I was wondering if you minded us putting your blog on the links list, and if you wouldn’t mind me posting your “How the Fox survived” blog post (https://wherespiritstops.wordpress.com/2014/01/29/how-the-fox-survived/), on our articles/testimonies of hope section?

    It made me cry, such hope and strength. I wish we’d have known about your blog two years ago when we were learning about this diagnosis.
    As I said, it’s not finished, but if you want to poke around and make sure we’re not “nutters” (the bad kind, lol!), this is the blog: https://functionalmultiplicity.wordpress.com/

    1. What an amazing note to wake up to! Thank you so much, and it’s wonderful to see someone in the DID community working to support strength and empowerment, since I tend to see a lot of the opposite. I love the name of your site. We’re all about being functional above everything else…so for me, if functionality means not integrating, then we won’t. I certainly don’t wish to, I love the strength I’ve found in my parts.

      I actually have another blog that’s more about my DID (but I haven’t used it much lately): https://splitlight.wordpress.com/

      I want to share another post with you, because it means a lot to me and it’s about honouring our parts, and our strength in numbers…which I think you will understand. It’s here: https://splitlight.wordpress.com/2014/01/25/my-kind-of-survivor-story/

      And please feel free to chat anytime, you sound lovely, someone I’d want to know 🙂

      1. Your article is up on the site. Thank you. It’s so hard to build up hope and empowerment in DID, I appreciate the help. ❤

        I'd love to more regularly converse. I'm on twitter and facebook, though my twitter presence is rather spotchy at best… I only get three days a week In Front, and I've got so many offline life things that get in the way of computer access. But I'm around. I don't know if there are private messages on wordpress?

  5. All I can say is that I’m blown away.. I truly believe in what steiner once said. When the time is ripe all shall be revealed! I guess this is it for me. I’ve always had this conflict of the head and heart about exchange of spiritual work for money. My heart never could fathom what is the exchange for when we are love .we are all here to awaken one another i love and the gifts of love are truly gratitude and compassion . You have just integrated the mind and heart as one today for I stand for your truth as it is!!
    May you always be the light of love

  6. I’m really looking forward to following your blog. After some (somewhat spontaneous) experiences of “non-ordinary states of consciousness” I have become very much interested in shamanism / transpersonal psychotherapy. I feel I will learn much from reading about your experiences. I am something of a survivor as well, and I have been profoundly comforted, recently, by learning through experience about the alchemy of suffering ~ with the right practices and support, we can transmute suffering into joy … in fact I think that’s why we’re here … I think that’s the purpose of the human condition. I am also learning that “expression is the antidote for depression”, so, without presuming to know the state of your mental health, I just want to say that I hope you continue expressing whatever you need to get off your chest ~ for your benefit and ours. It takes courage to speak our truth, to be vulnerable and raw. And it lights up the world, so thank you.

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