Inner Space

She shut her eyes to see
a universe within, stunned
at her own second coming
home.
Here, she was the artful creator;
here, she reigned
by her own decrees:
she imagined joy, and thus was joyous
as a newborn god, enthralled
by making herself
happen.

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Creating Space for New Possibilities

By changing your perspective, you can make new models of reality emerge. The benefit of doing this is to prevent an unbalance of mental “closure” – a word Kenneth Smith uses in his book “Shamanism for the Age of Science” to describe being stuck or too rigid in one way of thinking. Closure is like fundamentalism in that it closes off your capacity to see potential and transform or awaken yourself to new levels of knowledge. So I have a few exercises to offer that I find useful, which can open you to new experiences, new insights, and expand your awareness in all directions, pushing against any limiting boundaries you’ve perhaps unnecessarily accepted.

These exercises are actually fun – to me, anyway – and they stimulate your imagination and challenge your attachment to particular models of reality. They are meant to tease your perceptions of being, creating room for new possibilities.

  1. Walk as if you are not moving forward, but actually turning the Earth with your feet. When your feet glide over the ground, push a little and imagine that you are bringing the environment directly in front of you closer, rather than walking to it.
  2. Imagine reality is merely what you see, exactly as YOU see it. For instance, the distant trees are really that small and objects are fully solid (not full of mostly-space and atoms). Perhaps the Earth now seems flat; or try to come up with a new experience of perception other than the examples I’ve listed.
  3. Consider: everything you can imagine must be real. What does that imply? If everything you imagine must exist, can you therefore imagine a spirit, decide it must be real, and have a whole conversation with them that must also be real? If you imagine a future self that can communicate with you, are the thoughts you imagine your future self saying therefore real?
  4. Imagine yourself pulling the future against you in order to experience the present moment. You are not helplessly flowing forward along with time – you are pulling time past you.

After these exercises, where you go next is up to you, but I think it creates a prime stage for self-reflection and creative work.

You, a Palimpsest

You author reality with metaphors

and verb to make a living

while the ghost writers circle

like carrion birds, waiting to rip

your soul from your flesh.

You, a palimpsest, have shed

covers, switched genres, crossed out

every adjective you used to be;

and I, your avid reader, await

your next page, enthralled

and close to tears, overlooking

your plotholes.

Our Soul’s Purpose and the Higher Self

The higher self can be viewed as a fractal, of which you are one single iteration. I believe the higher self ultimately transcends space and time, containing every possible version of your soul in every possible circumstance, across all possible realities and parallel universes. The essence of your soul, the one thing that ties all these potential versions of you together, is thus revealed in the shape of the fractal and describes your soul’s purpose.

Yet if you’ve ever played with the scale of a fractal image, you can imagine how only an infinite being could perceive its ultimate complexity and shape. So how do we even begin to approach an understanding of the higher self and our soul’s purpose?

I think it is important to allow for evolution here: if you’ve come upon an inkling of your soul’s purpose, or even created a statement about it, don’t call it a day and stop. Your soul’s purpose looks different at different scales and the scales represent your levels of conscious awareness, your ability to see and know what your soul’s purpose is. So as you develop your awareness, your concept of your soul’s purpose will evolve, perhaps even completely change, like any living thing, so why not allow for this growth?

My point is that the higher self is infinite and your life can be a journey of exploring it, learning deeper and bigger truths. It never really ends. If today you think your purpose is to teach, allow this statement some room – or else be stuck forever at one level of seeing and knowing yourself.

 

Getting Better

I think I’m finally on the mend, having been sick for about a month. I’m making stuff again and I have a little energy to spare, as long as I rest when I need to. This morning I made this necklace in honour of my vision of my higher self, who I call Uvanga (which means “myself” in Inuktitut). The spiral shell and fossil stone remind me of sacred geometry, which I’ve been investigating in terms of fractals — where the instance meets the infinite and the two unite. This is how I see my higher self and all higher selves in general — infinite versions of our particular instances.

bty

(Also note the GORGEOUS dress Willow made me — it looks like a galactic superhero dress in the best way possible!)

It’s the Little Things

I’m really appreciating the little things in life today — like eating scrambled eggs after a week of nothing but jello and broth! I swear, those were the best eggs I’ve ever had. I like these moments that teach us to appreciate the mundane parts of our existence just a little bit more.

My vision is getting better — quite distorted but definitely better! And I had an appointment with the surgeon today that confirmed I most likely have a bleeding ulcer, which is why I’ve been so sick (throwing up blood, anemic and not able to eat, and in a lot of pain). I have to go for a scope down my throat in October, but for now I have medication and I think I can manage to keep the situation stable. I feel so relieved and even happy, and completely eager to go forward and spend time with spirit, doing my daily activities again.

In fact, tomorrow I might even get dressed! Another little thing to cherish. It’s the little things. And if you have the little things, you’re doing okay.

Spiritual Work and Practice

I’ve been doing very well lately — crafting, writing, and helping others with spiritual matters. It has kindled a thirst to do more: to help more people, to spend more time in prayer, to develop new shamanic practices. It’s a pretty good place to be, and a good “problem” to have!

I think this state of mind culminated from the solidification of my personal beliefs. I developed a system of understanding shamanic spirituality that blends very seamlessly with quantum physics, and also appeals to my heart. It is, at its core, only my opinion. But to finally have a rock-solid base that is unique to me and that I know in my gut I have complete faith in, without any doubt…it is freeing and beautiful and inspiring.

The one thing I love to see the most in others’ spiritual journeys is the culmination of this stage of satisfaction and certainty, and it doesn’t matter to me one bit what those beliefs actually entail. We are all unique and entitled to our own truth journeys. They can be a quick and sudden enlightenment or a lifelong pursuit of learning, but when someone reaches this point of faith in their own truth, they have unlocked their best potential.