Imagination’s Wormholes

She shuffle-sways up and down
the train’s aisles, the lurch
a warp in space, a tug
on time. Waiting
for Mongolia, she leans
out a window, her thoughts streaming
loose from her skull, wind-swimming
behind her, each wish armed
before it tears away into air, into freedom, to change
the present, the past, and the future.
Spirit has wormholes too, she thinks,
getting down from the chair,
still imagining Mongolia and train-sway
in her own domestic kitchen.
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Our Soul’s Purpose and the Higher Self

The higher self can be viewed as a fractal, of which you are one single iteration. I believe the higher self ultimately transcends space and time, containing every possible version of your soul in every possible circumstance, across all possible realities and parallel universes. The essence of your soul, the one thing that ties all these potential versions of you together, is thus revealed in the shape of the fractal and describes your soul’s purpose.

Yet if you’ve ever played with the scale of a fractal image, you can imagine how only an infinite being could perceive its ultimate complexity and shape. So how do we even begin to approach an understanding of the higher self and our soul’s purpose?

I think it is important to allow for evolution here: if you’ve come upon an inkling of your soul’s purpose, or even created a statement about it, don’t call it a day and stop. Your soul’s purpose looks different at different scales and the scales represent your levels of conscious awareness, your ability to see and know what your soul’s purpose is. So as you develop your awareness, your concept of your soul’s purpose will evolve, perhaps even completely change, like any living thing, so why not allow for this growth?

My point is that the higher self is infinite and your life can be a journey of exploring it, learning deeper and bigger truths. It never really ends. If today you think your purpose is to teach, allow this statement some room – or else be stuck forever at one level of seeing and knowing yourself.

 

You, a Fractal

You pull yourself in, deliberately,
abruptly peaceful in your fate: being
a minuscule point of space, a short line through time.
You call it progress but I resist,
caressing the dials of my perceptions 
to watch you bloom
in all directions, infinitely, like a fractal-soul,
which is, after all, just a point, a line,
multiplied forever. Or
in other words, your full potential.

It’s the Little Things

I’m really appreciating the little things in life today — like eating scrambled eggs after a week of nothing but jello and broth! I swear, those were the best eggs I’ve ever had. I like these moments that teach us to appreciate the mundane parts of our existence just a little bit more.

My vision is getting better — quite distorted but definitely better! And I had an appointment with the surgeon today that confirmed I most likely have a bleeding ulcer, which is why I’ve been so sick (throwing up blood, anemic and not able to eat, and in a lot of pain). I have to go for a scope down my throat in October, but for now I have medication and I think I can manage to keep the situation stable. I feel so relieved and even happy, and completely eager to go forward and spend time with spirit, doing my daily activities again.

In fact, tomorrow I might even get dressed! Another little thing to cherish. It’s the little things. And if you have the little things, you’re doing okay.

The Strangest Birthday

I’m not sure what’s been going on with me this past week. First my vision went, and it still hasn’t gotten better. Now I have very intense abdomen pain that we’ve narrowed down to be either my pancreas, gallbladder, or an ulcer. The next step is an MRI and a consultation with a surgeon. I’ve been in the ER for the past two days and today’s my birthday. I can deal with not feeling well, but all I want is a peaceful day without the kind of pain attacks that bring me to tears.

I’ve never been to the hospital in my life before this and am wondering what lesson spirit is trying to teach me…

Time Alone

Consciousness becomes

you. Given enough time, you know

all stones and bones defossilize,

enliven, and grow

again, again, again, spiriting

in cycles too vast for theories to vault.

You verb

to hide the fact you’re doing

time alone,

and there’s no escape

but to dream that eons entwine,

infinitely packed without a care

for paradox or spacetime. Here, you stroke

the everbefore-and-after

with your little hours; here, you reach

the gods of everything.

Soul Loss as Entropy

Entropy is a force of chaos that drives life forward yet feeds on death.  Nature makes peace with entropy, softening it with grace through its complex systems of decay and renewal. Humans, however, struggle to master a holistic perspective that is vast enough to foresee the consequences of our conveniences – thus our lives and our energy spin off into waste and pollution.

Remember microbeads, and the damage they can do to ocean life? Now they’re talking about microfibers from synthetic clothing being even worse, and unfortunately that’s been around for decades. These are examples of entropy. It’s trash heaps, air and water filled with contaminants, and nature thrown out of balance with it.

Yet nature left on its own dances with entropy beautifully.

There is another side to entropy that we must tackle first: and it’s personal. We must learn to notice entropy in our own lives and souls. On this level, entropy is often expressed as wastes of energy and a lack of personal authenticity. Lacking the discipline of authenticity we are too easily broken down into pieces – which is a way of looking at the shamanic idea of soul loss. Soul loss is personal entropy in action.

And I’d say that entropy is the biggest threat we ever face.  Yet we just have to look to nature and spirit to see how to live with it gracefully.

To repair our personal entropy, we must be in right relationship with spirit’s ecosystem. We must gather back our soul parts. We must learn to make good decisions about our energy. Before we all do this as human beings, all the activism in the world will not solve humanity’s environmental problems of entropy.