New Rattle

I love my re-constructed rattle, made with a fluorite from Muzquiz, Mexico. The fluorite and the fossil shell both represent fractals to me, and the whole thing is dedicated to my higher spirit Uvanga.

dav

hdr

Transformation

I believe that our paths represent our current models of reality, and that as we grow, paradigm shifts cause these models to expand and even bubble into whole new operating systems. I don’t tend to hold onto any ontological belief too tightly, as at any moment it could radically alter. Instead I suspend belief as much as possible, as Kenneth Smith explains in his wonderful book Shamanism for the Age of Science:

“One remedy for projection put forth by Zen teacher Shunryu Suzuki is to not believe in anything. This doesn’t mean to believe in emptiness, but suspend belief in arbitrary rules embodied in transient formations of reality. […] He is advocating a stronger relationship with potential, with a creative force, instead of being limited solely to human contrivance.”

This often comes through in my art, in concerns with my spiritual practice. I never hesitate to take apart old tools that no longer speak to me, in the pursuit of making something new. Today I got the crystal of my dreams, a fluorite from Muzquiz, Mexico, which represents a fractal form. It is symbolically important to me right now, so I took apart my old shamanic rattle — which I’ve already taken apart a few times now — and made something that speaks to my new inspirations.

Rock Garden

I made myself a rock garden for playing with my crystals! It’s just a willow-branch wreath glued onto deerskin and cardboard, with some of my crystal collection arranged in it. Very meditative and fun!

mde

mde

Imagination’s Wormholes

She shuffle-sways up and down

the train’s aisles, the lurch

a warp in space, a tug

on time. Waiting

for Mongolia, she leans

out a window, her thoughts streaming

loose from her skull, wind-swimming

behind her, each wish armed

before it tears away into air, into freedom, to change

the present, the past, and the future.

Spirit has wormholes too, she thinks,

getting down from the chair,

still imagining Mongolia and train-sway

in her own domestic kitchen.

Our Soul’s Purpose and the Higher Self

The higher self can be viewed as a fractal, of which you are one single iteration. I believe the higher self ultimately transcends space and time, containing every possible version of your soul in every possible circumstance, across all possible realities and parallel universes. The essence of your soul, the one thing that ties all these potential versions of you together, is thus revealed in the shape of the fractal and describes your soul’s purpose.

Yet if you’ve ever played with the scale of a fractal image, you can imagine how only an infinite being could perceive its ultimate complexity and shape. So how do we even begin to approach an understanding of the higher self and our soul’s purpose?

I think it is important to allow for evolution here: if you’ve come upon an inkling of your soul’s purpose, or even created a statement about it, don’t call it a day and stop. Your soul’s purpose looks different at different scales and the scales represent your levels of conscious awareness, your ability to see and know what your soul’s purpose is. So as you develop your awareness, your concept of your soul’s purpose will evolve, perhaps even completely change, like any living thing, so why not allow for this growth?

My point is that the higher self is infinite and your life can be a journey of exploring it, learning deeper and bigger truths. It never really ends. If today you think your purpose is to teach, allow this statement some room – or else be stuck forever at one level of seeing and knowing yourself.

 

You, a Fractal

You pull yourself in, deliberately,
abruptly peaceful in your fate: being
a minuscule point of space, a short line through time.
You call it progress but I resist,
caressing the dials of my perceptions 
to watch you bloom
in all directions, infinitely, like a fractal-soul,
which is, after all, just a point, a line,
multiplied forever. Or
in other words, your full potential.

Getting Better

I think I’m finally on the mend, having been sick for about a month. I’m making stuff again and I have a little energy to spare, as long as I rest when I need to. This morning I made this necklace in honour of my vision of my higher self, who I call Uvanga (which means “myself” in Inuktitut). The spiral shell and fossil stone remind me of sacred geometry, which I’ve been investigating in terms of fractals — where the instance meets the infinite and the two unite. This is how I see my higher self and all higher selves in general — infinite versions of our particular instances.

(Also note the GORGEOUS dress Willow made me — it looks like a galactic superhero dress in the best way possible!)

It’s the Little Things

I’m really appreciating the little things in life today — like eating scrambled eggs after a week of nothing but jello and broth! I swear, those were the best eggs I’ve ever had. I like these moments that teach us to appreciate the mundane parts of our existence just a little bit more.

My vision is getting better — quite distorted but definitely better! And I had an appointment with the surgeon today that confirmed I most likely have a bleeding ulcer, which is why I’ve been so sick (throwing up blood, anemic and not able to eat, and in a lot of pain). I have to go for a scope down my throat in October, but for now I have medication and I think I can manage to keep the situation stable. I feel so relieved and even happy, and completely eager to go forward and spend time with spirit, doing my daily activities again.

In fact, tomorrow I might even get dressed! Another little thing to cherish. It’s the little things. And if you have the little things, you’re doing okay.