One Example of Dissociation in Action

Dissociation makes you less aware of your body and your surroundings. We all do it to some degree, some of the time — but when it’s severe and/or constant, it’s a problem.

While I was on my trip in Algonquin Park I had some major epiphanies that showed how dissociative I was in the past. The most surprising realization I had is that I actually take a size 11 woman’s running shoe, but had been wearing 8.5/9 runners all my adult life. There is no logical explanation for why I thought it was normal to wear shoes that consistently made my feet BLEED, to the point of scarring. This is how dissociation works: at the time, I knew my feet got a “little” blistered and I was somewhat aware that they bled. But I blocked out the pain and didn’t ever think that maybe I needed bigger shoes. I had no idea how shoes were supposed to fit. See, I was used to being grateful for the fact I had shoes at all (I usually only had one pair of shoes at a time). When I was growing up I couldn’t ask for clothes and I remember trying to hot-glue my only pair of shorts together for gym class when the zipper busted.

So when I was running after a moose in Algonquin and my feet got sore, Willow realized that something was wrong and I started wearing her runners instead (size 10 men’s). Today we got rid of all my old shoes and got me three pairs that actually fit: cute flats, nice boots, and runners (Value Village for the win!). I keep exclaiming in amazement how great they feel and how wonderful it is to be comfortable. I’ve never experienced this before and it’s blowing my mind.

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Free Shamanic Readings

Spirit has gifted me with a desire to do more shamanic readings, and so I have decided to offer free readings for two individuals a week on a first-come, first-serve basis. Please comment below if you would like a reading and when it’s your turn I’ll ask you to email me your questions or concerns.

What is a shamanic reading? In my readings I utilize shamanic journeys, which are trance-like states in which a practitioner confers with Spirit in order to receive wisdom, answers, and healing. All my readings are wildly different as they are focused on the person I am reading for. A reading may reveal an animal spirit guide, or a deceased relative’s advice. You might get a description of your own Higher Self and his/her message for you, or a glimpse into a past life and wisdom about how it affects your present circumstances. A reading may indicate a need for healing. If Spirit indicates that healing (such as a soul retrieval or other energy work) is necessary, I will ask your permission and complete this healing for free as well.

You do not have to be of any path or faith to write to me. I will try to converse with you on your level and I respect all compassionate faiths.

When you email me privately you can tell me as much or as little as you like, and it will all stay confidential. The one thing I absolutely need is simply a question or issue you’d like me to journey about.

So again, comment on this post to reserve a free reading! Remember, I can only promise two a week so please be patient.

*Edit*: Please be aware that comments on this post are not private — so I will give you my email address when it’s your turn.

Spiritual Practice

I am a shamanic practitioner and I feel called to do more than I’m currently doing, spiritually. Right now, I do readings and healing maybe once a month, for a smallish fee. I have tried doing free readings but after a few years of this the constant demand burnt me out, as well as leaving me occasionally unsatisfied (like when people made requests purely for entertainment purposes, not taking it seriously). I’m not sure what to do next with my path. Does anyone have ideas? I don’t mind practicing for free but I can’t figure out how to do it without opening myself up to be overwhelmed again.

Holiday Gifts on Etsy

As we enter this season of gift-giving, I thought I’d post some ideas from my Etsy shop, Honoring Wilderness. My shop has unique hand-crafted items that would make special gifts for animal lovers or spiritual folk. I also offer reasonably-priced Spiritual Readings and Healing which is a thoughtful gift for a fellow spiritual seeker in your life. ❤

Yanantin: Dancing with Duality

I have always been happy to suspend my beliefs in order to dance with opposite concepts, such as the Everything and the Nothing, the Infinite and the Instance, Self and Other, good and evil, or spirit and physicality. With some investigation it is apparent that seemingly intractable dualities are intricately, deeply connected – perhaps just different expressions of the same thing.

The Q’ero shamans of Peru have a word for this. I was thrilled to discover their concept of “yanantin”, which is the harmony of complementary dualities, because it speaks to me at my core, and I’m sharing these words in case someone else would be just as enthralled.

I think that situating myself in reality means being aware and present within the whole picture: the yanantin that encompasses both what seems “real” to us and what doesn’t. The truth is everything is real. (Remember the physicists who are happy to say that in an infinite universe, everything you imagine and everything possible must actually manifest in physical reality.) Dancing with opposites situates us in the bigger picture of potential and wholeness.

As Hillary S. Webb writes in her excellent book, “Yanantin and Masintin in the Andean World” (a book she was kind enough to send me at a difficult time in my life when I legitimately couldn’t afford it):

“Similar to Chinese Taoism, Andean philosophy views the opposites of existence (such as male/female, dark/light, inner/outer) as interdependent and essential parts of a harmonious whole. Because existence is believed to be dependent upon the tension and balanced interchange between the polarities, there is a very definitely ideological and practical commitment with indigenous Andean life to bringing the seemingly conflicting opposites into harmony with one another without destroying or altering either one.”

At its best, the concept of yanantin expands our awareness and challenges us to go deeper, to think beyond dichotomy and live in the balance between body and spirit. Yanantin can teach us to be in better relationship with things like giving and receiving, ego and selflessness, and so much more.

Getting Better

I think I’m finally on the mend, having been sick for about a month. I’m making stuff again and I have a little energy to spare, as long as I rest when I need to. This morning I made this necklace in honour of my vision of my higher self, who I call Uvanga (which means “myself” in Inuktitut). The spiral shell and fossil stone remind me of sacred geometry, which I’ve been investigating in terms of fractals — where the instance meets the infinite and the two unite. This is how I see my higher self and all higher selves in general — infinite versions of our particular instances.

bty

(Also note the GORGEOUS dress Willow made me — it looks like a galactic superhero dress in the best way possible!)