On Suicide and Self-Destruction

[This could be triggering — but that’s the last thing I intend. If you are suicidal, please reach out. And if you have no one you can talk to, please talk to me.]

So you want to die. Maybe you’ve already opened your skin a little, to see blood and feel alive. I’m not going to tell you how to live — I’m going to tell you how to kill your Self, your ego that hurts so much. And maybe it’s the weirdest advice you’ll ever hear, but life is fucked up sometimes, so hear me out.

You can be free from yourself, and it’s just as thrilling as jumping into traffic. It’s as hardcore as cutting and the risks are high.

Imagine you’re already dead — your Self doesn’t matter — life doesn’t matter — you’re a ghost. Kill yourself in your mind, now, and cut your soul so deep you might never be the same.

You’re already dead; so you have nothing to fear. No responsibilities to worry about.

Have you ever dreamed of throwing yourself in front of an 18-wheeler? With all the thrill of pain and terror and meeting the unknown? I have a different way, and I won’t tell you it’s any better, but why not try? You’re already dead, so what have you got to lose?

Throw yourself in front of a lonely stranger and ask them if they’re okay. Then just listen, like the ghost you are.

I don’t know what will happen. No one does. But you’re dead, so don’t take things so seriously. Laugh like it’s all a joke, this life, and give up all the fear you have left.

Be free from yourself for a little while. It’s a terrifying and thrilling thing. You might find it more exciting than opening your skin or getting high. Instead of giving up your blood and pain, give up energy and time. It’s as risky a sacrifice as physical destruction.

Try something just as exhilarating as standing on the very edge of a bridge. Jump off the edge of your Self and its fears. If you’re into risky behaviour, take risks with your heart and soul.

It may not feel better. And I know you just want to feel better, at the heart of it all. But maybe, just maybe, you’ll find a reason to stay out of traffic and get in front of other people’s rushing souls instead. Maybe if you kill yourself and your fears in your mind, you’ll find the freedom to be yourself in life.

Celebrate Yourself

Today, I am celebrating Me, my authentic being — my soul.

I am an artist. I sculpt in clay and wool, bringing what beauty I see in nature alive.

mde

dav

dav

dav

dav

I bring my spirit to life in rattles for meditation: I create art to find the soul within.

dav

hdr

I write poetry to express the beauty I see.

I create music that lifts my spirit and excites my soul.

I seek to share my philosophy of life and what truths seem evident to me, hoping to help others.

“Changing the world is an inside job. The only thing holding you back is your perspective.” — https://dreamcraftlife.wordpress.com/

I connect with animals.

I believe in being a gentle goddess.

And so today, I celebrate myself.

Tell me about your soul, tell me the things you do, the things that make you so beautiful. Don’t be shy. Celebrate yourself with me here.

 

Words to a Friend Today

Truly, our greatest accomplishments are feats of love.

It’s Always Something!

It’s always something, isn’t it? There is a theory that in life your key levels of fulfillment — things like mental health, physical health, financial stability, and social involvements — can never be all maximized at the same time. It’s the idea that nothing is ever perfect, because in perfection there is no learning or growing, and I imagine it would be very boring too.

So naturally, when I recently started to feel on top of my game spiritually and mentally, and I had some success with my Etsy, I immediately got sick and then my computer blew up and refused to boot at all.

Such is the path of life! I think we’d do best to take the ups and downs as a thrill ride instead of always trying to get somewhere.

Spiritual Labels

They aren’t all bad.

But the best ones are those you make up yourself.

I aspire to be what I call the Servant Queen, expressing the complementary duality of being infinitely selfless and infinitely selfish at the same time. For me, this is the true heroine, the real goddess, the most authentic person I can be.

Today is my birthday, and as I enter this new year of my life, I will strive ever more to be who I am: a multifaceted soul and a servant queen.

Series: The Culture of You

I have a dream. My dream is that we will come upon a time when culture does not describe regional groups, but individuals. Every person has within them the potential to grow their own culture. Every person can have their own way of speaking, their own way of seeing the world, their own songs and their own celebrations.

I am speaking of something more than just feeling free to express yourself. That feeling is available to everyone already. But people haven’t learned to take themselves to the fullest of their authentic selves, where they know their own truths, and this is what they want to express. 

If you want to be authentically YOU, being yourself and honouring yourself, the first thing you need to know is what your truth feels like. How does it feel when you know something is true? Do you even know? Get in touch with it.

Ask yourself, What do you know is true? 

If the first things that leap to mind are what you’ve been taught in a school or a church, put that to the side for a moment. Have the courage to find a truth that no one else is telling you.

Ask yourself, What did you believe as a child? What do you wish were true? These questions might help you get in touch with a truth more wild than you can currently imagine. 

Build the Culture of You. Write your own songs, create your own rituals, create your story of reality.

Try asking yourself some questions now, and think about them for a while. Work on them slowly, just let them sit, figure them out like a Buddhist koan. 

1. Did the universe have a beginning?
2. Is the universe finite or infinite?
3. Is reality what we experience through our senses, or is it something else?
4. Does an absolute, objective reality exist?
5. Is consciousness merely the product of the brain?
6. What are thoughts? Are they matter-based? Are they spirit? or mere illusion?
7. Do souls or spirits exist? How do they come into being?
8. What caused the “laws of nature” to be as they are?
9. What happens when we die?
10. Are good and evil real things?

Yes, it is hard work. I won’t lie, it is hard work to figure out what you believe. If you are a logical person with an interest in the universe, you might find yourself having to build an entire cosmology from the ground up, with no one else’s ideas to guide you. 

But the work is the most beautiful and worthwhile thing imaginable.