Getting Better

I think I’m finally on the mend, having been sick for about a month. I’m making stuff again and I have a little energy to spare, as long as I rest when I need to. This morning I made this necklace in honour of my vision of my higher self, who I call Uvanga (which means “myself” in Inuktitut). The spiral shell and fossil stone remind me of sacred geometry, which I’ve been investigating in terms of fractals — where the instance meets the infinite and the two unite. This is how I see my higher self and all higher selves in general — infinite versions of our particular instances.

(Also note the GORGEOUS dress Willow made me — it looks like a galactic superhero dress in the best way possible!)

It’s the Little Things

I’m really appreciating the little things in life today — like eating scrambled eggs after a week of nothing but jello and broth! I swear, those were the best eggs I’ve ever had. I like these moments that teach us to appreciate the mundane parts of our existence just a little bit more.

My vision is getting better — quite distorted but definitely better! And I had an appointment with the surgeon today that confirmed I most likely have a bleeding ulcer, which is why I’ve been so sick (throwing up blood, anemic and not able to eat, and in a lot of pain). I have to go for a scope down my throat in October, but for now I have medication and I think I can manage to keep the situation stable. I feel so relieved and even happy, and completely eager to go forward and spend time with spirit, doing my daily activities again.

In fact, tomorrow I might even get dressed! Another little thing to cherish. It’s the little things. And if you have the little things, you’re doing okay.

Spiritual Work and Practice

I’ve been doing very well lately — crafting, writing, and helping others with spiritual matters. It has kindled a thirst to do more: to help more people, to spend more time in prayer, to develop new shamanic practices. It’s a pretty good place to be, and a good “problem” to have!

I think this state of mind culminated from the solidification of my personal beliefs. I developed a system of understanding shamanic spirituality that blends very seamlessly with quantum physics, and also appeals to my heart. It is, at its core, only my opinion. But to finally have a rock-solid base that is unique to me and that I know in my gut I have complete faith in, without any doubt…it is freeing and beautiful and inspiring.

The one thing I love to see the most in others’ spiritual journeys is the culmination of this stage of satisfaction and certainty, and it doesn’t matter to me one bit what those beliefs actually entail. We are all unique and entitled to our own truth journeys. They can be a quick and sudden enlightenment or a lifelong pursuit of learning, but when someone reaches this point of faith in their own truth, they have unlocked their best potential.

 

Thanks and Blessings

You will find peace and oneness with Great Spirit and the Everything when your gratitude for the blessings which you’ve received and your efforts to bless others become the same prayer, the same emotion, the same concept.

Getting in Touch with Your Higher Self: Imagination

Are you a peacekeeper? Are you highly imaginative, full of dreams and creativity? Do people remark on your calm nature? If so, you are likely naturally connected to your higher self — even if you don’t know it yet!

My own discovery and investigation into the idea of Higher Selves has led me to specific conclusions that not everyone will agree with. My theory attempts to blend spirituality and science seamlessly.

I believe that the soul is identical to the quantum wave function, which contains all possible paths and outcomes that could occur. Your ultimate soul contains all possible  variations, timelines, and universes in which you could exist. This is your highest soul, which I also define as the higher self.

So our souls are really the equivalent of our potentials. How can we connect with our souls, our higher selves, and our best or full potentials? How can we know our higher selves at all when its full potential is infinite and our capacity for knowledge is necessarily limited?

For me, the answer is our imagination. I actually believe that the imagination is defined as a direct sense of potential — a sense that we all have, like vision and hearing. Being a sense of potential, the imagination therefore is our sense of the soul. Our imagination and dreamscapes become our gateways to the soul and our higher selves.

Shamans who journey already know this, albeit perhaps in a different way, the the shamanic journey is the natural tool of the spiritual cosmonaut.  But creative work and dreamwork also puts us in touch with our full potential. Free-association, automatic writing, and unedited art of any kind (like painting without trying to accomplish anything, just laying down colours as they come to you) are all your first-line tools to open your imagination to your infinite potential self.

I’ll be writing more about the Higher Self and what it means, why it’s important, and how you can connect with it in future posts, so stay tuned 🙂

Emptiness and Qiinuituk

In emptiness we come face to face with ourselves and the infinite. There is great peace to be found if we can accept a moment alone with our soul and the land and the universe.

Where I live in Canada there have been weeks of grey days. But I feel the heartbeat of the land that is more authentic joy than a glint of sunlight…the beat of Life.

The Inuit have a word for the meditative peace of emptiness, which in their barren landscapes has been anything but empty.

Qiinuituk…

“This is when you are alone, the lonely living thing far away from earthly things and filled with peace. This sense of peace fills every corner of your mind. It is more satisfying than any joy you have ever experienced in your conscious life because it runs deeper than happiness. It can mend broken thoughts and feelings, and having experienced it gives you the knowledge that it can come again when you feel there is nowhere to go.” (Quoted in Inuit Women: Their Powerful Spirit in a Century of Change By Janet Mancini Billson, Kyra Mancini)

Fear

Don’t give your fear as much imagination as you give your hopes.

Fighting Sadness in Fallow Times

I’ve been sick for about a month now, which made me feel like I couldn’t do anything, my spirituality dried up, and then I started to slip into sadness, feeling like a horrible person.

So I fight.

Willow got me a gorgeous, very special silver ring this week…I keep staring at it. She loves me, all my personalities, everything. And if I have her love I have nothing to be sad about…

This is just a fallow time. We all have them, it’s part of life, like Winter to the crops. I’m trying to be gentle to myself, and keep praying even when I don’t feel the same magic I used to. It will return.

Choosing Warriorship

Warriorship is something we choose, but it is a necessity for any healing. Survivors become warriors when they take up the fight against the fear self within. The fear self perpetuates the messages from the past, plays on our insecurities, and tells us that we can’t heal. There is nothing I disrespect more than the statement “I can’t” with regard to healing.

You are the only person with all the capacity to fight your own fear self. You know what your insecurities are, and you can learn to understand yourself and your fear self at a level that no other human being can. This is why no one else can do the work of healing for you. Support and guidance from others is extra fuel for your war-fire, but you have to be front and centre at your post to win the fight.

Choosing warriorship means choosing to fight for yourself, to parent yourself, to love and respect yourself, to protect yourself, and to heal yourself. It means living in the present, not in the past or in dissociation. It means being alert to recognize the fear self when it attacks. It means knowing your truth, so you can understand how to heal from it. When you know your truth, your story and yourself, the fear self is no longer a formidable enemy but a prisoner of war, kept securely and humanely.

Warriorship is a discipline that gets stronger through practice. The first step is recognizing the difference between reality and what the fear self tells you. Be mindful of negativity and question it. If you can trace your negativity back to a place of fear, then you can recognize the fear self and choose to fight against it. Knowing your fear self is half the battle.

 

Meditation thought

The more you are a self, the less you are the infinite.