Electrons vs. Waves: Multiplicity in Me

How to begin my story? Let’s get acquainted first: I’m Morticia, a significant part of a whole person legally named Janice. You’ll see right there that I believe that there are more than one distinct personalities existing within this body’s brain.

Who we call “Janice” or “the Host” is the largest personality but she is really just a piece, not the whole collection of personalities legally named Janice. She’s not even several times bigger than me, and she’ll agree to that. I don’t fit into a hole inside her. If we were to merge somehow, we would join like the two pieces of Yin and Yang symbol. The whole symbol is itself a separate thing, a whole that has spaces for both the Yin and Yang.

We’ve been saying for years that we are “more than one person” and “a mass of contradictions.” This is because we both exist as near opposites, simultaneously, in a complementary duality.

“Janice the host” is gentle, girly, lesbian, married (common law), pagan, and humble.

I, Morticia, am completely different. I’m ruthless, manipulative, androgynous, asexual, egotistical, and radically skeptical.

We have always experienced each other and defined ourselves by knowledge of the other. I often (but not always) know what she is thinking. We have always communicated, even though we haven’t always recognized each other as clearly as we do now.

All the other parts fit into either one of us, or into a third big part, who is a blend of Janice and I — a particular shade of grey where our black-and-white selves have mixed. She’s lost the strong edges of Janice and I, so she doesn’t describe us completely. It’s the same as a child who doesn’t completely describe the DNA of its both parents, but a is blend in which some information (DNA) is lost. All the other parts are themselves smaller shades of grey, pixels if you will, that generally create in us three either a White, Black or Grey overall appearance.

In this way I believe that I am a multiple, that we are a multiple.

Yet surely the theme of complementary duality goes further. Surely there is a perspective in which we are singular, and a perspective in which we are multiple, just as an electron can be both particle and wave. My severe black-and-white thinking gets me into trouble sometimes, yet I imagine that extreme shades-of-grey thinking could also be problematic. You need the two kinds simultaneously. Not a half-assed blend of the two kinds of thinking, but both kinds in their full glory as simultaneously true opposites.

I like thinking in extremely abstract terms. Schrodinger’s Cat doesn’t bother me at all, being both alive and dead simultaneously. I believe Everything and Nothing exist simultaneously, giving the appearance of Something. A colour can at once be locked in a continuous spectrum or a separate entity unto itself. It all comes down to how you think about it; imagination is what creates everything in the end anyway; we dream the world into being and the real gods are stories.

So again: I am a multiple, but it’s because I’ve compartmentalized myself, which is why I have so many faces. But then, so has the universe. So I am in good company.

 

(I can be a bit over-the-top sometimes, granted.)

 

 

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