I don’t know quite how to describe the healing work I’ve been doing, but generally it’s a great quest. Like most great quests it is all-consuming and involves challenges, difficulties, and victories. It is not something I dabble with; it’s my life for the time being.
The other day involved what I can only describe as a 6-hour flashback to a bad drug trip. It was messy and exquisitely horrible. But we (my parts and I) fought hard. We survived, and learned things, and feel stronger now, though still a bit wobbly.
What my partner and I do is stay open for therapy at any moment. It happens in the kitchen, in front of the tv, in the car, and even in the middle of grocery stores. Therapy can and does happen whenever it needs to. By therapy I mean asking questions, talking to parts, figuring out what’s going on in my head, and making things better. So we’re constantly striving to make things better for us.
In a way I like to see my parts the same way as my helping spirits in my shamanic practice. This is not to say that my parts are any less “real”, because I believe that helping spirits are completely real. My personalities offer different wisdom and knowledge and points of view, just as helping spirits do. I can call on them and develop relationships with them, just as with my helping spirits. In thinking this way, I’m honouring my parts and respecting them — which ultimately means honouring and respecting myself.
Sometimes I fear I am going to be stuck in my fears and difficulties forever, but I have to keep remembering the person I was four years ago, and even the person I was one year ago. Beautiful changes are happening, and beautiful healing takes place, and I can let it take all the time it needs.