I have been toying a bit recklessly with my states of consciousness. See, I’ve been sick and taking cold medication which I am apparently sensitive to, as it strongly affects my mental state. Also, my wife and I have been not sleeping properly, going out for long drives at night instead, looking for animal sightings. The other day I was awake for about 30 hours straight, and even after a 12-hour rest I feel like my mind isn’t working right.
And, I’m hungering for word salad.
I wrote word salad once, thinking I was writing something coherent, and even writing excited comments in the margins (which were also word salad) about the content. I had not slept for 72 hours straight. Then, thankfully, I went to bed. When I read the piece later, I was utterly fascinated by it, because I really thought I understood it at the time. Currently my view of reality is wary of the supremacy of logic. I believe in the existence of other, variant, systems of logic (in other universes, or under certain circumstances in our universe such as within a black hole, or in spirit).
Right now I want to read word salad. Not merely bad poetry, but true word salad found in spam emails. The kind that generally follow some grammatical rules, but in which the content makes no sense. For some reason it excites me. I read one example: “Isn’t lettuce brave?” on wikipedia and I absolutely love it, even though it makes no sense. I’m not trying to figure out what it could mean — I’m not working out a metaphor in which lettuce could be called brave. It means nothing and yet, for some reason, I find it excitingly beautiful.
So I am a little worried about my state of mind, even though I am at work and competently working, having complicated conversations with my boss about tricky indexing problems in our online database. But perhaps I am indeed fine, and instead I am accessing some aspect of spirit. Is spirit somehow connected to pure abstraction, absent from logic?
Also, I have been thinking intensely and writing a great deal about consciousness. In particular, the unconscious flow of thought, or the random thoughts that seem to self-propogate continuously in the mind, whether we notice them or not. I suspect this is a spirit thing, but am still working out the details and will post about it soon.