Shaman sickness

After I felt the calling and journeyed upon it, meeting a new spirit guide, I fell into a disturbing state of mind. I have suffered from depression before and this felt different — but upsetting nonetheless. I felt like I was going mad and didn’t know what was wrong. But because of the context in which this state of mind appeared, I labelled it as shaman sickness. This was the one comfort in several days of turmoil. I could at least have faith that I was suffering for a purpose, and that if I persevered, it would come to a completion.

I meditated on letting go and ego death but my suffering only grew worse. Finally, upon the advice of a dear friend, my wife took me to a beautiful tree in a conservation area. I gave it offerings and sat beneath it and journeyed. I met my initiatory helping spirit and through the journey was transformed, killed, and remade. I was given new eyes through which to view the worlds. Instantly I felt better.

My wife then took me down to the river and spoke of my transformation, pouring water over my head as a ritual. It was done; I have been well since.

I am now gently coming to terms with my new eyes, my new perspective, as this world has been shattered and the spirit world peers through the cracks.


5 thoughts on “Shaman sickness

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s