Until yesterday I have never felt spiritually called to anything. I have been interested in a great many things and have walked many paths, but I would never say that I felt the universe directing me to a particular path or practice.
Yesterday was an ordinary workday, yet I felt called to the spirit world. I felt distinctly directed to get out of the office and get out of the mundane. I felt called to shamanize.
I couldn’t leave work so I stayed impatiently, distracted somewhat by my co-workers, feeling this great need for peace and meditation in the Other Worlds. Even when I got home, I wasn’t sure what to do with this calling. I felt bogged down and tired from the work-week so I thought perhaps the calling was just a fleeting mood that had now disapated. However, I planned to journey and in the evening I went for a ritual bath.
The great calm came over me. I wanted to stay in the bath forever, enjoying this peace. I felt the veil between worlds thinning. When I went to journey, the feeling only intensified. I don’t wish to discuss the journey too specifically, but I will say that it was powerful and enlightening. I was told, essentially, to step up my game. To practice shamanism, to strive to be a shaman.
I have been interested in shamanism for over a year, but not having felt the calling, I simply accepted that I wasn’t meant to be a shaman, and instead used shamanic tools and called myself a hedgewitch. I never expected anything more than that. Last night, when I came back from the journey, I felt still connected to the Other Worlds and wandered my home half-dreaming. I thought I might go mad. It was so powerful I hardly knew what to do — should I ground myself, or would that be closing a door I ought to keep open?
This morning I feel more normal, but it is like I have been given access to a deep well of spirit from which I can draw at will. And I can still feel this calling.